Making Sure Your Child Does Not Hear Negative Talk About Either Parent

1 April 2026

Making Sure Your Child Does Not Hear Negative Talk About Either Parent

Divorce and separation are difficult for both parents and it can seem natural to want to speak negatively about the other parent. The problem is children always feel the negative impact.

A child will carry the emotional weight of the words they hear about the other parent because they don’t fully understand what is going on and don’t have the maturity to process it. A child can become confused, stressed, and anxious.

When a parent calls the other parent names, tells negative stories or twists the truth, it causes harm. A child may even question if you think negatively about them too because they understand that they are one half of each parent and children can believe they carry the same qualities as each of their parents.

Children deserve to be kids without feeling responsible for grown-ups emotions. If your child tells you that they heard something negative about you:

Stay calm.
Do not start thinking of ways to retaliate.
Remind yourself that your number one role is to give your child safety and love.
Remind your child how much you love them.
Distract your child from the conversation by doing something fun together.
Deal with your own hurt feelings in private and out of ear shot from your child.

In the Magic Coat the character Meshell and The Magic String of Shells reminds children that they are always close and connected to the people they love.

One of the best things you can do is show your child that both parents are on their Magic String and nothing and no one can ever break that. Teach your child that if they are at your place and missing the other parent, they can hold the other parent’s imaginary shell in their hand, give it a squeeze and send them an invisible hug and they will send a hug right back. You are showing your child through this action that it is safe to love the other parent around you which helps them to relax and feel safe with you.

Your child does not need you to prove who the better parent is, they just want their time with you to be special and filled with love, laughter and opportunities to create happy memories.

When your child is old enough, they will understand that sometimes adult relationships don’t last, and they will reflect on how you managed the separation and divorce. Make them proud that you role modelled putting your child’s needs ahead of your own.

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