Raising Resilient Kids: Standing Tall Against Bullies

1 September 2025

Raising Resilient Kids: Standing Tall Against Bullies

Bullying is something no parent ever wants their child to experience, yet sadly it is still common in schools, playgrounds, and online spaces. Understanding what bullying is—and how to support your child if it happens—is the first step towards helping them feel safe, strong, and confident.

What Exactly Is Bullying?

The formal definition of bullying is:

“Bullying is repeated verbal, physical or social behaviour that causes physical or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or group and can happen in person or online.”

It’s important for children (and parents) to understand the difference between a one-off incident and a pattern of behaviour.

For example, imagine this:
Sally comes to school after having a tough weekend at home and pushes me over, grazing my knee. What Sally did is not okay—there should be a consequence—but because it’s the first time, it’s not bullying.

However, if on Monday Sally pushes me, on Tuesday she steals my lunch, on Wednesday she calls me names, and on Thursday she gossips about me—then we see a pattern. That’s when we can call it bullying.

Being Your Child’s Lighthouse Person

Your child needs to know that they can come to you with anything. When they see you as their Lighthouse Person—a safe, steady, and calm presence—they’ll feel reassured that they won’t be met with overreaction or panic. Instead, you’ll calmly talk through what’s happening and explore options together.

If your child tells you about an incident, write it down in a diary on the day it happens. This way, you can track whether there is a repeated pattern of behaviour. With that information, you can approach the school and work collaboratively with teachers to find solutions.

Remember, sometimes the child doing the bullying also needs support. At The Magic Coat, we often explain behaviour with this simple flow:

Event → Thought → Feeling → Behaviour

Understanding why a child is acting out helps us to address the root cause and stop the behaviour. Of course, this does not excuse bullying—it is never acceptable. But it helps us respond effectively.

Teaching Responsibility for Feelings

Children need to learn that negative feelings like sadness, anger, frustration, or jealousy are normal—but they are not excuses to hurt someone else. Part of growing emotionally is learning to manage our feelings in safe and healthy ways.

If your child is experiencing bullying, you can use strategies from The Magic Coat—such as Pop the Cork (releasing strong emotions in safe ways) and Obi the Octopus (helping children name and understand their feelings).

Tips to Help Your Child If They Are Being Bullied

Here are some practical steps you can take:

⭐ Reassure them they are not alone. Let your child know they can always come to you, and remind them the issue lies with the bully—not with them.

⭐ Build self-confidence. Teach your child to walk tall, make eye contact, and speak with confidence. Children who carry themselves this way are less likely to be targeted. Be clear though—confidence is not arrogance.

⭐ Don’t give the bully the reaction they want. Many bullies thrive on seeing their target upset. Encourage your child to stand strong, stay calm, and then tell a trusted adult.

⭐ Celebrate uniqueness. Talk to your child about what makes them special, and share examples of celebrities and role models who found success because of their differences.

⭐ Encourage friendships and interests outside school. A strong sense of belonging and achievement in other areas of life can protect a child’s self-esteem.

⭐ Monitor online use. Don’t allow devices in bedrooms where online bullying can happen unnoticed. Stay aware of their cyber world.

⭐ Support social skills. Not all children make friends easily. If your child struggles, guide and encourage them gently—it’s a skill that can be learned.

Final Thoughts

Bullying is never okay, and no child should ever feel they have to face it alone. By being your child’s safe Lighthouse Person, teaching them strategies, and working closely with schools, you can empower them to feel confident, supported, and resilient.

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