Separation Anxiety: How to Help Your Child

6 June 2025

Let’s be honest — it’s tough when your child clings to you at drop-off, eyes full of tears and begging you not to go. Separation anxiety is totally normal, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Whether it’s the first day of school, daycare, or just trying to get out the door, it can feel like a battle.

The good news? It does get easier. With a few simple strategies and lots of reassurance, you can help your child feel more confident being apart from you.

What Is Separation Anxiety?

It usually starts around 8 months old and can pop up again during big changes — like starting school or moving house. Some common signs:

Crying or tantrums when you leave
Refusing to go to school or activities
Complaining of tummy aches
Constantly asking when you’ll be back

It’s all part of how kids learn to feel safe and secure in new situations.

Simple Tips That Actually Help

1. Start small
Try short separations first (like staying with a grandparent for an hour) and build up slowly.

2. Create a goodbye ritual
A special hug, high five or silly wave helps your child feel more secure.

3. Stay calm and confident
Even if you’re stressed, try to keep goodbyes quick and positive — your child takes their cues from you.

4. Talk about feelings
Let them know it’s okay to feel nervous or sad. “It’s hard to say goodbye sometimes, but I’ll be back soon.”

5. Stick to your word
If you say you’ll be back at 3pm, be there. It builds trust and helps them feel safe.

When to Get Extra Help

If the anxiety doesn’t ease or starts to affect everyday life, it’s worth chatting to your GP or school for some support. You’re not alone, and getting help early can really make a difference.

Separation anxiety just means your child loves you and is still learning how to be independent. With your support, they’ll get there. And in the meantime, go easy on yourself — you’re doing a great job.

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