Things to be cautious about when talking to your child

1 May 2026

Things to be cautious about when talking to your child

There are things you should not talk to your children about because children never want to see their parents stressed and worried. It makes a child feel helpless and insecure when their parents talk to them about subjects that they have no control over.

For example, when a child grows up in a family where they constantly hear that there are financial problems, it can impact a child’s mental health. They can feel stressed and anxious. They can feel guilty for not being able to help or needing things and they can feel embarrassed that their family can’t afford things like their peers can.

Teaching your child about basic financial information such as budgeting, saving, and spending is different. You are teaching your child strategies that can prevent them from having financial problems in the future but letting them know your own financial strain is not okay.

This is not to say you give them everything they want but instead of telling them you can’t afford something you can say, “this is not our priority right now” or you can encourage them to work for the things they want by doing simple jobs for other people or earning pocket money.

You should also not be talking badly about your child’s other parent to them. Children quite literally see themselves as half mum and half dad so when they hear negativity about either of them, they believe that there is something wrong with them as the child of that parent.

While it is easier said than done you need to save your venting for another adult out of the ear shot of your child.

You also need to avoid any negative self-talk that you may say out loud. For example, comments as you look in the mirror such as “OMG, I’m so fat!” or “I’m so stupid”.

You are your child’s number one role model, and they are learning how to think and act as they watch you. If you are negatively talking about yourself, you are encouraging your child to do the same. They will start judging themselves the same way that you judge yourself.

You want to role model to your child standing in front of the mirror and saying things like, “I love myself just the way I am”, “I am so grateful that I am healthy and strong”. You can also say out loud positive statements such as, “Today is going to be a great day!” or “I am so grateful for this beautiful weather outside.” Your child will see you actively role modelling positivity and gratitude. If you can encourage this mindset in your family, you will be helping your child to become more resilient.

As a parent you shouldn’t be gossiping in front of your child as this teaches them that it’s an acceptable way to behave. You are teaching your child that it is okay to judge others and as they grow up they will start to make these judgements without even getting to know other people properly which will affect future friendships, relationships and co working relationships. You want to teach your child to have compassion and empathy for others. You want your child to understand that everyone is going through difficult times, and we may not even know what is happening in their world so just be kind.

You also need to stop telling your child that the world is a dangerous place. You are only going to create an extremely anxious child who won’t take risks which will impact their development, but they may also shut themselves off from getting to know people which will make it difficult for them to create friendships and later down the track relationships.

You can teach your child to be aware of people and surroundings and you can give them tips on what to do if they feel unsafe, but you want them to be excited about the possibilities in the world and you want them to dream about an exciting future. You want them to know that there is more good than bad in the world and allow them to have a balanced perspective. In a world where anxiety and depression is on the increase we need to teach our children more than ever to look for the good because there is plenty out there to see and experience.

The Magic Coat book is a great way to give your child the tools they need to build resilience, problem solve, build confidence, develop healthy friendships and manage big feelings.

As a parent I encourage you to read this book yourself first and them introduce one character at a time to your child.

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